October
BORN IN THE WRONG MONTH
October 24, 2026 5:00 PM
Birthday was this week. Turned 34.
No cake reveal. No dinner reservations. No candles. If you’re born in October, you don’t actually get a birthday—you get an entire month where the culture worships fake blood, haunted houses, and 12-foot plastic Home Depot skeletons, and your birthday is just some random Tuesday buried in the middle of it.